"Hey, Kid! Let's See Some I.D."

Thought this police girl was one of my jr. high kids.

She's not. I carded her.

Have A Wonderful
Thanksgiving Dinner For Me

Kim-sensei and Sick in Eden jet to Kentucky to share a makeshift Thanksgiving feast with scant trimmings, at best.

All in all, a happy holiday.

"Hajimemashite, Eden-san."

Nihon's finest are still a little awestruck over Sick's infectious good humor and his deep political ties.

At ease, men.

All The Gold You Can Grab

In addition to Sick's wide array of Japanese cronies, he can now add to the list several randy leprachauns.

"Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Sick in Eden . . ."

Sick gave these elves a good trim over at Mr. Kringle's Omiya chapter. It's amazing that his helpers get any work done at all, what with all the Christmas "spirit" on the shelf.

What, No Baba-Booey?

Howard, these girls rock! In two minutes the little shock jocks prodded a stripper into revealing her cup size . . . and threw bread slices on her naked, peanut butter-covered butt.

Sirius, are you listening?

Japan's Eclectic Harvest

Along with the carrots, umbrellas prove ripe for the pickin'.

E.T.-san Returns, More Prophetic Than Ever

Saki, one of my jr. high kids, just finished reading E.T. Afterwards, I asked her to imagine a conversation between Elliot and the alien ten years later. Here it is, in its unedited form:

The Players:
Elliot . . . . . . . .Sick in Eden
E.T. . . . . . . . . . .Saki

Elliot: How are you?
ET: I was doing all right. And you Elliot?
Elliot: I'm fine, too, E.T. I just graduated from highschool. I missed you alot. What have you been doing in your big spaceship for ten years?
ET: I was studying your language to talk with you.
Elliot: You speak English well. Have you met any other humans?
ET: No, I haven't.
Elliot: (shocked) Why not!!
ET: I was in my ship growing plants.
Elliot: Wow! That' great. (beat) I have to go to the army. I'll be stationed in Nagasaki. (hopefully) Will you come with me? Please say you will.
ET: I'd love too, but I dont want to work for the Army.
Elliot: I don't like them either--mom's making me, though. What can I do?
ET: (bluntly, and ever so seriously) Talk to your mom.



Goodnight, ev'rybody!

Why Settle For One Nose When You Have Two

Tengu's somethin' else--he's the legendary Japanese defender of the home/business . . . Sick met the impressive backpacker at the Tomita train station. Don't bother comin' ladies, he's booked solid 'til Christmas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tengu

Our Father, Who Art in Takasaki

Despite His busy schedule, God hooked up His other Beloved Son, Sick in Eden with a divine new do.

'Sexy Beast': Japanese Edition

Mitsuoka's Orochi (snake) is a "piece of ass," eh, Masaki?

Strawberry Shortcake Grows Up

Here, the aforementioned tart checks voicemail in between trains.

Nikko

Child Endangerment Thrives in Japan

While music among children is invaluable, Sick, feels that adolescent girls wobbling under the weight of their tubas are doubly rewarding, too

For Sick, Everyday is Halloween

The Bureau's incessant scare tactics, no matter how grotesque, have little effect on the intrepid Sick in Eden.